See beyond surface

One of my friends uses this term to tell my characteristic feature. Something I really used to take as complement. But no longer. No longer I consider this as a compliment or a quality to be proud about. Why? I will try to explain with some examples but believe me it will be difficult unless you have felt it yourself. I will first try put a scope to the people who have felt this at some point in time or the other -

1. An argument is going on, say, about whether US is a better to place to live and work, than India. Let's say you are a patriot, and your first thought is "No". But then you have actually visited US, and you think, "why not?". And then you come to a different plane, where you think that this argument is so person-oriented.

2. You are seeing a documentary on Animal planet about how new born mammals like elephants, zebras learn to walk. Several emotions flood your mind, including the vulnerability of those calves as against the protection we human give to our babies. From there your chain of thought goes on to a place where you think how humans, after learning (to small extent) the rules of nature is all up to play against it. Then you again think, how one person must have thought about doing it, and how he has changed the world.

If above thoughts come to you, please feel free to read on, else please be aware that you are going to have to think a lot.

Getting back to where I was, i.e. to see beyond surface. There is a certain sense that every person has which makes him compassionate about other humans. This feeling comes with his learning from his surroundings. Depending on his dominant genes, the person then builds his own sense of seeing the world. This sense, though largely is his own view, and therefore is bound to be biased, finds him make his way in life. Let us call this a person's Dharma or property.

It is evident that this dharma or property defines his or her Karma or deeds. In same conditions, an irate person might do something else and a calm person something very different.

But what if a person's Dharma is to understand other people's dharma? I am not calling this person compassionate, or even sympathetic. This person just has a tendency to learn what the other person is thinking. You might be tempted to call such a person passive and coward. Passive because such a person is incapable of action and coward as a result. Although both these words have a negative connotation, to this person it really does not matter. Because even if he thinks in a certain way, he cannot really say it out loud. He questions his own thoughts, weighs them if they are going to make any impact to anyone, and then takes his course.
If such a person is amongst a group of people his ideas do not match with, he feels out of place, but he also does not say it out, since he thinks what difference would it make to the people. None, and therefore, he shuts up and tries to comprehend what people are saying.
If such a person is amongst people of same thinking, he still would not be voluble. Simply because all of them know what each person thinks.
Such a person is incapable of thought, of action, simply because he/she does not understand the motives of the action or thought. They are unable to have a conviction because they are not convinced that the conviction would help others or not. They are individual to the core. If any actions or thoughts they are capable of are the ones that they truly believe will make their life better without compromising on any other person's life.

As is evident such people are also not capable to be in a relationship. Yes, any relationship, because they cannot experience things that go for making a relation. They can analyze like a neutral person, and probably be content to understand one person more.

And then again I do not speak of any other than me, because as I put this thought across I thought 'Hell, why am I even bothered?'....